There are two things of which I am certain. One, there is a God in heaven, Creator of everything seen and unseen, who loves us and cares for us. He gave His only begotten Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins—to make us free, to give us a hope and a future.
Two, I am broken. I’m not a good spokesman for God. I am weak and frail, prideful and arrogant. I strive with every fiber of my being to be much better than what I end up being. I should do better (I know better), but I don’t.
God can do so much better than me, as far as getting someone to share His Truth.
And yet, He invites me to join Him. To walk with Him. “Come, I’ll make you a fisher of men,” He says.
“I can’t,” I respond with fear and trembling.
“I can,” He says, “I can make you. And re-make you. I can teach you how to fish. I can.”
Time and again, He builds me up. He gives me confidence, faith, endurance, hope. The hope of what He can do in me, around me.
Then, “life” happens. Perhaps you’ve noticed it too. It hits you like a freight train. You feel every train wheel pass over you as you lie there paralyzed. Remember being stuck in your car on one of those train crossings as you are late for a meeting? The crossing gate arms slowly lowering, red lights going on and off as the bell rings. “Ugh.” One by one the train cars make their stride from one side to the other. That is a big, long train.
But somehow, even as life’s freight train crushes us, God’s love breaks through. I can’t explain it. Right when I’m about to give up. I can feel how much He’s loved me. I think of the humiliation of the cross—all for me.
God has been so loving, tender and patient with me. He’s been slow to anger. I, slow to learn.
He is kind and gentle. I am so easily rattled and irritated. He is always giving, I’m constantly focused on receiving.
I wish I was more attentive to my wife and children, more compassionate towards the needs of others, more giving towards friends in need, a better steward of God’s blessings, bolder in proclaiming God’s goodness. I wish I was better.
Ever felt like that?
Anyone would have given up on you a long time ago. Maybe a lot of people have.
Not God. Our Maker is still molding us and using us, in His mercy. Even me. Broken as we are, only requiring a contrite heart. He just gives and gives and gives. He heals, restores, transforms, mends and nurtures us time and again. And again. And again.
Because of who He is. Our brokenness has nothing to do with it. He is GOD, the eternal King, whatever our state. He reaches out to love us eternally. That’s why I will forever serve Him, with whatever I’ve got.
That’s the bottom line. He, only He.
“But, I can’t,” you say.
“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9b